Whether life hands you a bucket of stuff that you want to get rid off, or you are now sitting on the sidelines of life pining for something more, the riddle remains the same. How to push your self forward? How to change your present set of circumstances?
My heart and mind say,”Go!” but my feet don’t budge. My parents tell me,”This is good for you.”, but my body doesn’t move forward. Is it plain lethargy or is it something more?
It all seems so simple actually when we think about it. We want something…but we just can’t move forward with the same verve. Our wings lacks the wind so to speak.
In my opinion, their are two roadblocks we face - resistance and fear.
Resistance is the invisible force which retards out motion. We by nature expect things to go along as they are. It is our comfort zone. Imagine we are swimming in the ocean. Now, I just thought about swimming back to shore and to comfort. As I swim against the tide, the undertow would just drag me back and gradually I will get exhausted. I will probably drown in my attempts to reach the sanctuary of the shore. If I do as experts advise: swimming parallel to the shore while the currents subside, I will reach my shore.
Here lies a small secret to move forward - Don’t resist what is beyond control, focus on what is.
It is impossible I guess, to spend my energy along two directions, to struggle against what is not in my hands and in the same breath to strive for what is in my control. We expect things to be as before, we often ask as bad luck strikes,”Why me?” or “Why couldn’t things be the same as before?”. We might whine, we might cry…but then the time comes for all of to shift gears. Often we may feel that our situation is unfair, but the situation is as it is. With all my realization, I try to embrace whats good in it. Do I need to learn anything? Is their a hidden opportunity here? Can this situation strengthen me? When you cut away all the crap, you will see that every bad situation can sow the seed for something good. It might be minuscule…but so is a seedling before it transforms into a tree. The trick and the effort lies in finding that obscure ‘good’.
After identifying this ‘good’, I try to shift my horizon to what I want to I want to feel. If I am feeling bad…how do I want to feel (obviously - good!). If I am hurt…how do I start feeling upbeat? I give myself permission to dream…to wish…and to hope. What remains is just to get back on my feet, square my shoulders and follow my heart.
Their is a beautiful saying - ‘ When the tide of life surrounds you and the water upsets your boat, don’t waste your tears on what might have been…just lie on your back and float.’
The second obstacle we usually face is - Fear.
Fear of the unknown, anything outside our comfort zone. Fear of failure…fear of success and how to retain it…fear of not being loved…fear of being loved and losing it…fear of not being enough.
Fear should not be immobilising. We just have to try and change our thoughts and attitudes. In any situation, we should realize that we are only one amongst the billions. The fear we so dread, has been faced by many before us and will continue to be faced by many after. If others can overcome their fears so can I. Make a battle-cry for yourself…I do too. I have handled other things before, I will handle this one too. I will face all the problems that come my way. After I conquer this, the ghost of this fear will be gone for ever. Just as when we learnt to tumble and cycle for the first time…watched our first horror flick…killed our first cockroach…proposed to a girl…gave the first interview…or got married, we can find the courage to face any new fear.
The secret to moving on is quite simple - keep moving, one thought, one step, one day at a time.
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